Breaking up the normal schedule of recipe posts because today marks Chris and I’s 3 year wedding anniversary! Time just flies by. So cliché, but so true. And, it’s also been 1 month since my first post went live! Well, technically the one month was yesterday…but close enough!

I wasn’t initially planning on sharing a more personal/lifestyle post today, and had a recipe all written and scheduled to post. But rather last minute, I thought it would be a fun opportunity (especially since our anniversary happens to be the exact day I usually post!) to be a little more personal. I obviously love getting new recipes on the food blogs I follow, but I also appreciate more of a “coffee chat” or behind the scenes post every once in a while. Who knows, maybe this will become a regular monthly thing here! Thoughts on that?

To be honest, this is a bit outside my comfort zone, but I value honesty and firmly believe that the experiences we go through in life can perhaps help someone else. I know at least personally, I have found it so helpful to learn and grow from sharing with others and being open and honest. It’s so easy to see everyone’s social media accounts and compare yourself to others…whether that be body image, house, marriage, kids, etc. But real life isn’t an Instagram highlight reel.

Without further ado, here are some thoughts and the top 3 things I’ve learned in marriage so far! (With random throwback photos of Chris and I…sorry for the picture overload! I had way too much fun stalking old Facebook photos from over 6 years ago haha).

3 things I’ve learned from 3 years of Marriage 

1.Selflessness-You before me.

Hands down, the #1 thing marriage has taught me is that I am SO selfish. And when you’re in a relationship (marriage, dating, etc.), you aren’t only looking out for yourself anymore. Your schedule, time, hobbies, attitude, etc. do not only revolve around you. There’s now another person who you have to consider. I’m not a parent yet, but I can only imagine how much more true this is when you have children! While obviously it’s important to not lose your identity in your significant other and individually pursue your passions, dreams, career, hobby, etc., it is SO important to support one another and not only look out for your own best interests anymore.

2. Attitude-contentment over complaining.

So, to be completely honest I am not naturally a super optimistic person. Chris would be laughing at this because of how much of an understatement that sentence is haha. I tend to be pessimistic, critical, and definitely complain. A lot.

Something I’ve been learning (seems obvious, but it’s been a gradual process) is that my attitude can affect Chris (and others around me!) SO much. Honestly, it’s doesn’t even necessarily mean that I’m complaining/being critical of Chris, but if I just have a bad attitude or am complaining about something else, that still affects the overall mood and sets a negative tone for our relationship.

This could be a completely separate point, but I’m learning the value in being present in the moment and being content and grateful for the current situation. I always tend to want the very best possible situation, and get frustrated or complain when that doesn’t happen. Hello, enter real life. Most definitely not always the “best possible situation,” or all sunshine and rainbows. But having a positive attitude and outlook on life can have drastic changes in your relationships and help with being more content.

3. Humility.

Two things with this point:

1. Apologize first and often.

Even when you KNOW you are right or when the other person has wronged you. The power of forgiveness is so powerful. This can be so difficult (at least for me!) when my feelings are hurt and all I can thing about is how Chris may have hurt me. But my hurt feelings don’t justify me treating Chris poorly.

2. Don’t be too prideful to seek advice.

As easy as it is to think everyone’s relationship is happy and perfect on Instagram, you don’t see the behind the scenes. Frankly, marriage has been more difficult than I thought it would be (with two imperfect, selfish people, that’s bound to happen), but also so rewarding. I am so thankful for the relationships Chris and I have with family and friends who are willing to share their experiences and what they’ve learned. 

Wall art over our bed:

I’d love to hear from you as well! What are some of the things you’ve learned from your relationship/marriage?